


Laughter, Tears, Hug, Parting

by rinnenotsubasa



Series: Playlist [7]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Dealing With Loss, Light Angst, M/M, side wonhui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/pseuds/rinnenotsubasa
Summary: Mingyu couldn’t see Seungkwan all the time like he used to.But at some nights, he got lucky enough.Yoga Lin-想念
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu
Series: Playlist [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/895056
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Laughter, Tears, Hug, Parting

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve known this song for quite a long time but recently when it was played on shuffle, idea for this story just popped up in my head. Title is from the first line in the song’s reff. 
> 
> Actually my Chinese proficiency is very limited. I tried to interpret the lyrics with the help of Google Translate since there seems to be no fan translation for this song.

Suddenly Mingyu was faced with the darkness. That was the only thing Mingyu’s brain could register at first. It took him awhile to realize that he was looking at the ceiling of his own room. There’s no light because he had turned it off before going to bed… when did he fall asleep? He remembered playing with his phone while lying on his back on the bed, but couldn’t recall the clock display he saw before switching off the screen. 

Instead, at the front of his mind was a memory of Seungkwan’s laughter. The kind of laughter that made Seungkwan glow, his eyes sparkling with unreserved joy as his lips curved up into the most beautiful shape. The image was so clear and for a few moment Mingyu let it made him believe that Seungkwan’s laughter was real, that it’s not just figment of his dream. 

When the sight finally faded away in the dim room, Mingyu got off his bed. He put his hand carefully on the doorknob, hearing Seungkwan’s nagging about how loud his actions could be as he gently opened the door. He succeeded in making minimal noise when getting out of his bedroom and walking to the kitchen. He turned on the lights, of course. He’s already clumsy enough with the lights on, there’s no need to risk creating an accident by walking in the dark.

Once he got a glass of water and appeased his dry throat, Mingyu heard a gentle sound of door opening. It was the door to Wonwoo’s room. The older male stepped out of the room blinking a few times, as if adjusting his eyes to the brightness.

“Sorry, hyung,” said Mingyu. “Did I wake you up?”

Wonwoo finally got his gaze focused and answered, “Nah.” He waved a hand and smiled as he approached the sink where Mingyu was standing. Wonwoo stretched his hands to open the upper cabinet and pulled out a mug, then pour himself some water.

Wonwoo and Mingyu had been living together since Mingyu graduated from university two years ago. They had known each other four years before that, being senior and junior from the same university and hanging out in the same circle, so there shouldn’t be much worries about living together. Mingyu had never heard Wonwoo complaining, although Mingyu thought he must be such pain-in-the-ass of a roommate during the first few months of their new living arrangement. Two years ago was not a good period in Mingyu’s life.

Mingyu’s glass of water was now empty. He twirled the glass in his right hand, feeling wide awake, but wanting to return to bed. Maybe he could dream again, he hoped.

Before he could move, Wonwoo spoke up. There’s concern in his voice as he asked, “Are you okay?”

Mingyu paused for a moment before answering, “Yep.” 

As he bid goodnight to Wonwoo and walked back to room, Mingyu thought to himself: He’s not lying. After all, he just saw Seungkwan.  There’s nothing in this world he wanted more than that.

***

  
  
Mingyu came home to see Wonwoo all dressed up. A date, said his roommate.

“Will you be staying at Jun’s tonight?” Mingyu asked as he stood by the entrance and watched Wonwoo put on his shoes.

Wonwoo’s cheeks bloomed in pink as he said, “Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, have fun.” Mingyu saw Wonwoo off with a smile. But as soon as Wonwoo went out of the apartment and closed the door behind him, Mingyu’s smile faltered. He was happy Wonwoo and Jun were finally having a date after being so busy with work these days, but today’s not the day Mingyu felt comfortable with being alone at home. Yet he didn’t feel like going out to a bar or any crowded place either.

After ruminating on his dilemma, Mingyu decided to give Seungcheol a call. With a promise to bring booze and chicken, Mingyu proposed a game night at Seungcheol’s. Lucky for him, Seungcheol agreed. 

Hanging out with Seungcheol was fun, and Mingyu didn’t suck in games as much as he used to, thanks to years of playing with Wonwoo, Seungcheol, and Seokmin. That night Mingyu managed to enjoy his time and laugh to his heart's content.

However, after all the alcohol was gone into Mingyu and Seungcheol’s stomach, and 5 hours of staring at the screen and moving their fingers on the controller, Mingyu started to feel uneasy. Seungcheol was yawning a few times, looking both sleepy and tired, and Mingyu could relate. But Mingyu didn’t want to go home. So he faked being drunk and pretended to pass out on Seungcheol’s couch. He clearly heard Seungcheol chuckling as the older man put on a blanket over him. Mingyu kept his act until he fell asleep for real.

The next time Mingyu opened his eyes, his sight was blurry. But despite so, he could clearly see the tears rolling down Seungkwan’s cheeks. It was from 6 years ago, the day of university entrance exam announcement. Mingyu failed to get into his first choice, and even though he was disappointed, he felt more overwhelmed with surprise from seeing Seungkwan crying. He expected Seungkwan to be happy because Mingyu didn’t have to move away to another province. Yet Seungkwan said with a sob, “You worked so hard for it… It’s not fair…”

Mingyu found himself smiling at the memory.

  
  


****

  
  
Mingyu opened his eyes to an unfamiliar scenery. Long tables with chairs placed upside down on the surface, papers with handwritten hangul plastered on the wall across him. This didn’t look like his room. And his right arm felt numb, pinned between his own head and some hard surface.

With consciousness gradually coming back to him, Mingyu stood up from whatever he was sitting on and looked around. He recognized the interior of the bar he visited alone on Sunday night, the only difference was there was no fellow customers around. Why was he still here? What time was it now?

Reaching into his pants pocket for his phone, Mingyu pushed the power button and saw the screen lit up. The display said “Monday 02:14.”  _ Shit. _ It’s already work day and he’s still at a bar?

When Mingyu was trying to figure out his next steps, he got surprised by a voice from behind. 

“You’re up.”

Not knowing what to expect, Mingyu turned around with heart beating uneasily. He was greeted with the sight of a man holding a cigarette between the forefinger and middle finger of his right hand. With long black hair let loose until it reached his shoulders, messy in a way that suggested that it had never touched a hairbrush in quite a long time, the man looked unkempt. But still it couldn’t hide the fact that the man had nice features.

“Sorry, uhm…” Mingyu found his voice hoarse and cleared his throat. “Did I fall asleep here?”

The other man took a puff from his cigarette, taking his time to inhale and blow out the smoke. Mingyu waited. It’s apparent that he’s the one making trouble for the man here.

“My bad for not waking you up,” the man finally said. “You looked so happy. Must be a nice dream.”

The words were like a light slap to Mingyu’s cheek, reminding him what he saw before regaining his consciousness. Seungkwan coming to him and pulling him into a hug. 

Later the man who introduced himself as “Jeonghan” (Mingyu assumed he's the owner of the place, since it’s called “Jeonghan’s Bar”) offered Mingyu to sleep in a spare room upstairs until it’s time for the first morning train to depart from the nearest station. Jeonghan waved his hand casually as Mingyu thanked him profusely. 

Lying on a thin mattress in Jeonghan’s spare room, Mingyu recalled the image of Seungkwan holding him. He could even feel the warmth of Seungkwan’s touch.

  
  


***

  
  
Mingyu was sitting on the couch in his and Wonwoo’s apartment with Jun next to him. They were watching the news on TV in low volume, being considerate of Wonwoo who was standing in the kitchen behind and talking to his mother through the phone. For a while the room was filled only with the voice of the news announcer and Wonwoo. 

When Wonwoo walked to his room, phone still pressed to his left ear, Jun spoke to Mingyu. 

“Where should we meet on Saturday?”

Mingyu could feel Jun’s gaze on him, but he didn’t reply it with his own. Eyes still directed to the TV screen, Mingyu turned the gears inside his head. Where are we going this Saturday?

“I got work that day so it might be best if I meet you guys in Hongdae, instead of going here first,” Jun continued. “Is that okay?”

Mingyu stuttered his agreement. He was a bit shaken that his brain couldn’t immediately recall his plan this Saturday to visit Seungkwan’s grave for his 2nd death anniversary.

It’s not that he had forgotten. Last week he already talked with Wonwoo and Jun a bit about their plan, having decided on the time. And there’s no way Mingyu could have forgotten that his world no longer had Seungkwan in it.

But maybe some part of his brain tried to forget, hoping that it would erase the pain of losing Seungkwan. A futile attempt.

After discussing the details of the grave visit with Jun, Mingyu told his friend that he’s going to bed. Jun nodded and gave him a small smile.

On the way to his bedroom, Mingyu passed Wonwoo who’s coming out from his own bedroom, phone no longer stuck to his ear. His roommate raised a question at Mingyu’s intention to sleep at this unusually early time, but eventually let him go.

Lying on the bed with his right side pressed to the mattress, Mingyu slowly closed his eyes, the edges of his lips curving up at the promise of seeing Seungkwan. Once again, tonight, his beloved.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a gyuhao story when I got the idea and wrote the outline, but I was in a mood for gyuboo when I actually wrote it.
> 
> Anyway, why is it that all the gyuboo I post on this site feature one of them being dead.


End file.
